Fake it till you make it?
I bet you’ve heard this saying – on social media, in movies, at school, at work, at home, you name it.
I want to talk a bit about it and how I see it. What triggered me to make this video?
I keep seeing posts on social media with people showing their fancy cars, expensive homes, brilliant lifestyles, eccentric clothes and so on and so forth.
And in many cases, it turns out things are not so nice under the surface. They are late with their rent, the car is not used because they don’t have money for gas, or even worse, the car wasn’t theirs to start with!
This is the “Fake it till you make it approach” I totally disagree with!
I see no point in pretending to have material assets just to impress others. Especially if I want to sell them something, in the process. And make them spend money, trying to copy your “fancy lifestyle” just to impress others!
On the other hand, when it comes to personal traits and qualities… now things totally change!
I want to start by sharing an Indian folk story. A rich king wants to find a husband for his daughter. As he only wants the best, he thinks of finding an ascetic, a holy man to marry his daughter. So he goes to the Ganges river, where all the ascetics meditate and pray. He plans on promising them riches beyond measure if they marry his daughter. Alas, he has no luck – all of them tell him they are not interested in material and wordily possessions!
But, a sneaky thief finds out about this whole story. He dresses up as an ascetic, runs to the rives and starts pretending he’s meditating and praying. When the king approaches him and asks him to marry his daughter, promising him the same riches, he gladly accepts – stoked that his plan actually worked out!
Yet… that night he has an epiphany. He realizes that just by pretending he is a holy man he could easily get soooo many riches and power.
This triggers a shift in his perception of life and a change of character. He decides he actually wants to become a holy man, declines the king’s offer and starts properly meditating and praying together with the other ascetics.
Now, this is just a story, and I’m no ascetic, but definitely, this is a much better take on the whole Fake it till you make it idea. And one that is closer to my view on it.
You see, it’s not about pretending you have material possessions, but rather having qualities and traits that could actually help you become the best version of yourself.
A personal example
For the longest time, I was struggling initiating conversations with new people. It was just a block I struggled getting over.
So, I initially had to “fake it”. I had to tell myself I chose to delete my fear of initiating conversations. That I am excited to start new conversations, knowing that the others will get joy and value from our interaction. And I had to repeat this over and over and over and over again.
This is an example of an affirmation – a statement you repeat to yourself, with the aim of impressing your subconscious mind. This, sooner or later, triggers a change in your behavior. It’s like a magnet, attracting that thing you focus on.
Now, there are many ways of looking at affirmations and why they work – from the cognitive behavioral therapy principles to the law of attraction views presented in The Secret. Thing is, they do work!
Besides impacting the subconscious mind, we also engage the reticular activating system – the part of our brain that filters out unnecessary information, so the important one can get through. Now, what it deems important or unnecessary also depends on your focus on any given time aaaand… you’ve guessed it… by repeating the affirmations, your focus shifts to the thing you actually want/need.
There are many ways to use affirmations and personal affirmations, ones that have an emotional connection as well, are much better than generic ones.
One tip I can give you, to boost this whole process to the next level, is to also use essential oils before you repeat the affirmations. My favorite one to use is the blend called Believe – and I think the name is quite suggestive! How can the oil help? Well, essential oils also directly act on the limbic system – the part of the brain that controls emotion and memory. So, adding that extra emotional support to your affirmations is priceless!
This is something I am even more keen now, in my season of hustle 💪. Affirmations play a key role in my day to day activity!
So, what is your take on “Fake it till you make it?”. Or, better yet, are you using any affirmations? I’d be happy to carry on the conversation – leave a comment!
And be careful faking it till you make it! Choose the right thing to “fake” 😂.